


desire is not a weakness, my dear

by mafia_V



Series: spl33n.... in spACe [2]
Category: Roblox (Video Game), Starscape (Roblox), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: A little, AFTERCARE IS IMPORTANT GUYS, Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Space, Anal Sex, Begging, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Facials, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pining, Praise Kink, Riding, Smut, Topping from the Bottom, idk why ao3 insists on capsing that tag but like alright, only hinted at in this one, this isn't them in Real Life I'm slapping their names onto characters that are kind of like them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mafia_V/pseuds/mafia_V
Summary: X33N and Sparklez get frisky in Jordan's cool space apartment
Relationships: Jordan Maron/X33n
Series: spl33n.... in spACe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843729
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	desire is not a weakness, my dear

**Author's Note:**

> I need to get around to the actual plotty fic for this universe oops
> 
> but for now, have more smut with a dash of pining lol

Jordan's skin is warm underneath his wandering hands, and X33N kisses up the column of Jordan's throat, nipping and licking at the skin on his way to Jordan's lips. Jordan draws him in with hands on his face, and X33N nearly purrs as he goes completely willingly, melting a little at the silent instruction. Jordan groans into his mouth, and shifts his weight, and then he's lifting one leg to hang on the back of the couch, and a little bit of frost creeps over that warm spot in X33N's chest.

He pulls away from their kiss, opting instead to bury his face in Jordan's neck. He tweaks Jordan's nipples from where his hands have found their way up under the taller man's shirt, but Jordan's gasp doesn't send his heart racing. He grinds their hips together, drawing another pleased noise from his friend. He can feel Jordan's erection through their clothes. X33N's cock stirs, but he isn't hard. He rests his forehead against Jordan's collar. His lips twist into a pinched little frown.

"X33N ?" He looks up at Jordan, trying and failing to hide the conflict on his face. Jordan sighs and trails his fingertips through the short hair above X33N's ear. "If you're not into it tonight we don't have to do anything," he says quietly. X33N can tell that he's trying not to look disappointed. He guesses that neither of them are really that great at hiding their emotions.

"No, I.." X33N shakes his head with a sigh, moving back and sitting properly on the couch. He stares down at his hands in his lap. "I want—" he swallows, cutting himself off. He _can't_ want what he wants. Jordan likes how things are, likes X33N taking control. And usually he does too, but....

"X33N, what do you want ?" Jordan asks gently. He lays a hand on X33N's shoulder, and X33N can't resist turning to look at him. The apartment is dark, only the light of the stars filtering through the large windows, just the edges of Jordan's handsome face illuminated. The system's primary star is around the other side of one of its planets, casting the station in shadow. Jordan's eyes gleam in the low light, curiosity and concern so clear in them, and X33N has always enjoyed that piercing gaze on him but now, now it's too much. He averts his eyes, wishing he could banish the images in his mind's eye of Jordan over him, Jordan watching him, Jordan directing him with gentle force like he did with that kiss.

"I— nothing," he says hoarsely. "I don't want anything."

"Well that's clearly not true," Jordan snorts. X33N can practically hear the eyeroll. "There's _obviously_ something wrong. Are you just feeling off tonight, or is it...." Jordan pauses, and X33N hears him take a deep breath. "..Is it me ?" X33N snaps his head to look at him. Jordan is curled up with his knees to his chest and his arm against the back of the couch, facing X33N. His eyes are downcast, and he wears a worried frown. X33N's heart breaks, a little. He's never seen Jordan look so small.

"I mean— I know you don't really sleep with anyone else, and you've said you don't really want to either, and I get that, and our arrangement seemed to be working for a long time but— but you've been acting kind of weird lately and I couldn't put my finger on why that was but now I realize that you've been kind of distant and tonight was the first time in a while that we were going to have sex but then you backed out and now I'm just wondering if you're not interested in me anymore— ?"

Jordan cuts himself off when X33N sighs. He watches X33N with wide eyes. His breath is coming a little faster after his panicked tirade. X33N rubs the back of his neck and looks at the floor. He.. doesn't want to have this conversation. They still have a lot of work to do together and he doesn't want to break the camaraderie between them by bringing up his weird wants.

"It's.. not you," he says, and then cringes at how it sounds. Jordan gives a strained laugh. "I...." Fuck, he's really doing this. "I— there are.... things that I want, and that I can't have, and that you probably wouldn't want to give to me anyway. And I've been thinking about it a lot lately. That's all." He swallows around the lump in his throat and sighs. "I didn't mean to be distant, or make you feel.... bad." He chances a look at Jordan. He seems contemplative.

"....Okay," Jordan says slowly. "What— what sort of things ?"

X33N blinks. "What ?"

"What sort of things do you want ?" X33N feels the heat rising to his face, and ducks his head. "You said I probably won't want to do whatever it is, but you don't know for sure. Maybe I'm really into whatever it is. You don't know all my kinks, you know," Jordan says teasingly, but when X33N looks over his smile is softer than his tone. Jordan scoots closer, leaning to lay his head on X33N's shoulder. "Tell me what you want," he says lowly, and it sounds just enough like a command that heat races down X33N's spine. He shivers, and chews on his lower lip.

"I want—" he inhales, and squeezes his eyes shut, and speaks all at once. "I want you to tie me up. I want you to order me around. I want you to degrade me. I want you to hold me down while you fuck me, I want you to _use_ me, I want you to fuck me until I can't remember my own name, I want you to fill me up, I want your cock in me, I want— I want _you._ " He knows he's blushing all the way to his ears, he knows he's at half mast just from saying the words, he knows that Jordan is probably grimacing in disgust and thinking about how to kick X33N out of his apartment. He wishes he hadn't spoken, he wishes he had pretended to be sick or something—

" _Oh,_ " Jordan murmurs, and he doesn't sound disgusted, he sounds _interested_ , and X33N squeezes his eyes shut against the tears stinging there. Jordan moves away from him, and X33N can't help the pained whine that escapes from him at the loss of contact. Jordan leaves the couch entirely, and X33N hangs his head.

But then Jordan presses his knee between X33N's thighs, and pushes his shoulders back until he meets the back of the couch, and he slides one hand up to cup X33N's throat and forces him to tilt his head back. X33N stares up at him, shivering and panting at the treatment. Jordan wears a smirk, and he watches X33N with those dark eyes, and X33N's hips twitch upward involuntarily. Jordan leans down, bending almost double to brush their lips together. X33N inhales sharply, and Jordan chuckles lowly.

"I've never done anything with rope before," he whispers against X33N's lips, "I'd been thinking about it and I thought I wouldn't like being restrained like that." He takes X33N's lower lip between his teeth, nipping sharply before sucking on the sore spot left behind. Heat rushes though him, and X33N clenches his hands around the edges of the couch cushions. Jordan releases his lip, and kisses his temple before whispering right in his ear, "But I think I'd be okay with restraining someone _else_...."

" _Please,_ " X33N whimpers softly. Jordan lets out a brief laugh, and X33N whines.

Jordan moves away from him, and X33N snaps his eyes open, reaching out for him before he realizes what he's doing. Jordan catches his hands, smiling as he sits back down next to X33N. "I think I'd enjoy that, sometime," he says. "I think we still have more to talk about before we actually do anything, though."

X33N whines and covers his red face with his hands. "Curse you and your logic," he mutters, and Jordan laughs.

Jordan scrapes his fingernails through the hair at the nape of X33N's neck, and he shivers. "So, in conclusion.... you want me to top ?"

"No," X33N shakes his head, "I want you to _dominate_ me." His face burns.

"Okay. Is this an all the time thing ? Like, you want it like that every time we have sex ? Or is it a sometimes thing ?"

"....A sometimes thing ?" X33N says. "I do enjoy.. how we usually do it. But I just—" he gestures vaguely, and then gives up with a frustrated sigh. "Sometimes I— Sometimes I need someone else to take control. I haven't— had that in a long time."

Jordan tilts his head. "And that's how you've been feeling recently ? Like you needed someone else to control you ?"

"Yeah," X33N admits shakily. "Yeah, I've been trying to ignore it but it's just gotten worse and worse and I can't— I can't pretend anymore that I don't want it."

Jordan kisses his temple, and hums consideringly. "And that's why you've been acting so distantly, lately. I understand now."

"I'm sorry. I— I probably could have told you about this a while ago."

"It's okay," Jordan smiles. "I'm glad we talked about it now." He thinks for a moment. "Okay. Let me reiterate just to make sure I've got everything. You want me to dominate you, you want to be tied up, and you want to be degraded," he lists, tapping out each item on unfolded fingers. "What do you mean by that last one ? Like, do you want me to.. call you mean words, or something ?"

X33N shifts uncomfortably, averting his gaze once more. "I want you to call me your slut," he whispers. "I want you to call me a whore, I want you to tell me I'm worthless, I want you to tell me I'm nothing."

"I.... I don't think I can do that for you," Jordan says quietly. X33N shrinks in on himself, leaning away, but Jordan pulls him close again, wrapping him in a loose hug. "I don't think it's _wrong,_ and I don't want you to think you're wrong, but.... I just, don't think I could say those things about you. Even if you'd enjoy it. I'd feel really awful, saying things like that about you. You're—" Jordan licks his lips and frowns, "You're important to me," he admits softly. "I'd be more likely to sing your praises than I would to tear you down like that."

"Hm." X33N lays a hand over Jordan's bicep. "What if.... What if it was a little bit of both ?" X33N asks. Jordan makes a questioning noise. "Like— Like, if you called me— 'my good little whore' ?" X33N's voice squeaks a little at the end of his sentence, and Jordan smiles at the sound.

"'My good little whore,'" Jordan repeats lowly. X33N shivers and tries very hard to keep still. Slowly, a smirk grows across Jordan's face. "My pretty slut," he murmurs, tracing over the side of X33N's face. "My good boy ?" X33N gasps, and Jordan laughs quietly. "You like that one ? I'm glad," he purrs. He drags his free hand down X33N's chest, stopping just above the tent in his pants. X33N arches his back at the touch. Jordan presses a chaste kiss to the corner of X33N's lips, and then carefully squeezes his cock through his pants. X33N keens, his head dropping back and eyelashes fluttering.

X33N groans when Jordan slips his hand under his waistband. Jordan coaxes him into lifting his hips, and when he does he tugs X33N's pants and underwear down his thighs. X33N's cock springs free, and Jordan gives it a few firm strokes to get him fully hard. He bucks up into Jordan's hand. Jordan tuts and holds his hip down with his free hand, halting his movements with the other. "I want you to stay still for me, can you do that ?" Jordan asks sweetly. X33N nods, and Jordan smiles, leaning in to kiss him. He starts up again, a much slower rhythm this time, swiping his thumb over X33N's head on every stroke. X33N tenses up, but doesn't move. "That's my good boy," Jordan murmurs huskily. X33N makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, squeezing his eyes shut, heat pooling low in his belly.

"I want to make you feel good," Jordan murmurs as he works over X33N's cock. "I want to do this for you. You're so good for me, look at you, loving the way I'm touching you...." X33N pants, opening his eyes to watch Jordan hazily. Jordan smiles. "There's my pretty whore," he says admiringly, picking up speed with his hand. X33N whimpers and twitches, trying to keep from squirming. "You're doing so well for me, staying still like I asked. Do you like this ? You like doing what I say, being my good boy ?"

X33N whimpers, unsure if Jordan actually wants him to answer or if he's being rhetorical. He does, he does, he wants to be Jordan's good boy. His body is on fire, his insides have turned to jelly. Jordan plants kisses all over his face, shifting so he's in X33N's lap, sitting back towards his knees so he still has room to fist X33N's cock. Pre weeps from the tip, and Jordan catches more with every pass, easing the way and making his warm hand feel even more delicious. "Well ?" Jordan purrs. "Use your words, X33N. Do you like being my _whore_ ?"

He squeezes X33N's balls with his free hand on the last word, and X33N cries out. "YES, yes, yes, I love being your whore, I love being your good boy, please, please, yes, please, please please please—"

"Please what ?" Jordan breathes.

X33N sobs, gasping for breath. "Please, please, please, let me come, please let me come please I'm a good boy please I need it I need it please let me come let me come please please _please_ —"

Jordan is silent through X33N's begging, squeezing and rolling his balls, still swiftly sliding his closed hand up and down X33N's shaft. X33N makes a long, high sound, tears slipping down his face, his entire body tense. He can feel every callus on Jordan's hand, he can feel Jordan rutting against his knee, he can feel that hot thread about to snap. He grits his teeth, trying to hold himself together. He can't, not yet, not yet. He isn't allowed yet.

Jordan goes still above him, and X33N fixes his gaze on him, watching the veins in his throat, the way his back arches, the way he trembles. Jordan slumps forward, scooting forward slightly in X33N's lap and resting his head on X33N's shoulder. The growing damp spot on the front of Jordan's pants rubs against his cock, and the friction feels _amazing_ . But still, he doesn't move. His whole body _aches_ to take Jordan by the hips and roll him onto his back and tear off his pants, wants to slam into him without any prep and make Jordan moan and beg for more. He wants Jordan to do it to _him_ , wants to spear himself on Jordan's cock. But he doesn't, he doesn't, he waits and sits still and quivers with need.

X33N feels Jordan shift in his lap, and then he's sitting up on his knees, and he leans down and kisses X33N deeply. He takes X33N's hand and lays it on his waist, starts wriggling out of his now soiled pants. X33N helps him remove the garment, still not letting himself move his hips like he wants to, needs to. Jordan's cock is soft after his orgasm. He kicks off his pantlegs and guides X33N's hand around to his ass. X33N shudders when he feels the slickness there. Jordan curls two of his fingers down and holds his wrist still, and sinks back onto X33N's fingers with a moan. X33N thrusts in and out, adding a third and then a fourth digit to test how far Jordan must have gone earlier.

"I know this isn't exactly how you want it," Jordan says breathlessly, those dark eyes captivating in the subtle starlight. "But, maybe I can try topping from the bottom ?"

X33N tugs at the hem of Jordan's shirt with his free hand. "Please. Please."

Jordan gently pulls on his wrist, and X33N withdraws his fingers from his entrance. Jordan groans at the sensation, leaning forward and positioning himself over X33N's cock. "Stay still for me," he murmurs the reminder, and X33N nods again. Jordan reaches down to line him up, and then he's slowly lowering himself until he's seated firmly in X33N's lap, quaking and already shifting back and forth. X33N keens at the tight heat, holding Jordan's hips.

Jordan slowly lifts himself up and lowers himself again, his thighs flexing with each minute motion. He quickly picks up speed, bouncing himself on X33N's cock, squeezing around him. "Please," X33N whispers with each drop, his voice going hoarse. "Please, please, please, please—"

Jordan cries out, grinding his hips down, and X33N realizes distantly that he must have hit his prostate. Jordan's cock twitches in interest, and he fucks himself against that spot again and again. "X33N," he gasps, and scrambles to grab one of X33N's hands. He guides X33N into holding his cock, and X33N takes the initiative to start jerking him off. Very quickly, Jordan stills again, squeezing around X33N's cock and painting his shirt with hot, sticky cum.

X33N sobs when Jordan stops moving. Jordan sleepily kisses up the side of his face, pulling his head back by the hair at the nape of his neck. He slots their lips together, and X33N can taste his own tears along with Jordan's mouth. When they part, Jordan kisses his jaw just before his ear.

"Are you close ?" he asks hoarsely. Not trusting his voice, X33N nods frantically. Jordan huffs a laugh and kisses the same spot again. "Can you do something for me ?" X33N whines, but nods again. "Don't come yet." X33N moans in despair. Jordan shushes him and rotates his hips. "Soon, okay ? Soon." He lays another kiss over X33N's lips. "But I want you to fuck me first." X33N digs his fingernails into the soft flesh of Jordan's ass, and the man smiles tiredly. "Go ahead. Flip me onto my back, fuck me into the floor. Do it."

X33N frowns, blinking away the haze for a moment to find his words. "You.. already came twice," he murmurs stiffly. "Don't wanna hurt you...."

"You won't. I'll tell you if it's too much. And I'll tell you when to come." X33N whines. Jordan kisses his cheek. "Come on. My slut. My good boy. Do this for me ?" X33N nods, kisses Jordan's neck. He readjusts his grip underneath Jordan's legs and, with some effort, climbs to his feet, still buried inside Jordan. He kneels, laying Jordan on his back on the floor. Jordan wraps his legs around X33N's waist. "Come on. Come on. My handsome slut, you're doing so good for me, you feel so good in me, come on, pretty boy, good boy, my good boy...." Jordan flexes his legs, raising one meaningful eyebrow, and X33N takes the instruction for what it is.

Finally allowed to move, he grinds his hips against Jordan's ass, gripping his thighs tightly. Jordan holds his shoulders as X33N pulls out before slamming back in all at once. He starts a rough, fast pace, Jordan babbling praise at him driving him higher and higher, angling to hit Jordan's prostate with every thrust, crying out each time Jordan clenches around him. Tension creeps up his back, into his shoulders, as he fucks into Jordan, an animalistic growl escaping him as he tries desperately to hold back even as he chases his release.

Jordan is hard again, and X33N would marvel at his short refractory period if he wasn't so lost in the intoxicating feeling of Jordan's tight ass bearing down on him. Jordan cups the side of his face with one hand, and brushes away a few tears with his thumb, and then the command X33N has been waiting for finally arrives.

"Come for me," Jordan says roughly, and then X33N is _gone_.

  
  


X33N's awareness returns to him, and he's _almost_ in the same position— his face is buried against Jordan's neck, and the man is cradling his head, whispering things he can't quite make out. X33N realizes belatedly that he's sobbing. He sucks in a ragged breath, quaking from the force of his cries, shivering with exhaustion. Jordan kisses his temple. He can hear what Jordan is saying now.

"—were amazing, you were so good for me, my good boy, good pretty boy. You did so good, you're so good. Shh, I've got you. Shh...."

X33N melts against Jordan, his breath hitching. Jordan trails his hands over X33N's back, and he hums brokenly at the touch. His breaths even out, and he nuzzles the side of Jordan's face. Jordan scratches lightly up his spine to the back of his neck. X33N sighs and arches into the touch. "Should get you off your knees," Jordan says softly. X33N hums in agreement, his knees twinging from being on the floor for.. however long it's been. He pulls out and sits back on his heels, and Jordan winces as he sits up. "Okay, the floor wasn't my brightest idea," he remarks. He rolls to his feet, and X33N shifts his weight, ready to follow.

"....Wait," Jordan says. X33N stills, looking up at him with wide eyes. Jordan watches him for a moment, biting his lip, before he takes hold of his cock. X33N licks his lips and watches raptly as Jordan's abs jump at the touch. Jordan strokes himself lightly, hissing out a curse under his breath. X33N leans forward. He wants Jordan to use his mouth, wants Jordan to come down his throat. Jordan sees the eagerness in his eyes, increases his pace.

"Stay," Jordan says, strained. X33N keeps his eyes on Jordan's cock. Jordan grunts and takes a step closer, close enough for X33N to settle his hands on the backs of his calves. Jordan finally tenses up, and X33N closes his eyes just before Jordan paints his face with lines of hot cum. X33N opens his mouth, craving the taste of Jordan's semen on his tongue, keening when Jordan gives him what he wants. Jordan gasps. " _Fuck,_ X33N." Fingers nudge his chin upward, and Jordan whines. X33N tentatively opens his eyes. He can feel Jordan's cum, he can see it on his face at the edges of his vision. He makes an involuntary noise. Jordan laughs breathlessly, and then leans down to capture X33N's lips in a kiss.

X33N makes a needy sound, but Jordan pulls away. He trails his fingertips through X33N's hair. "I think it's about time we get you cleaned up," he murmurs. X33N lets his eyes drift closed. It's easy to; Jordan's careful touch feels good, feels relaxing, and after the previous events of tonight a warm weight is seeping into his limbs.

Jordan coaxes him to his feet, and X33N leans on him for balance, stumbling blindly by his side. He loses track of where they are, or how long it's been, only catching brief snippets of his surroundings. A hand on his hip. A warm, damp cloth wiping carefully over his closed eyes, at the sensitive skin between his legs. Lips at his temple. Soft sheets sliding over him. A warm body dipping the mattress at his side, curling around him. A low voice, whispering words he can't quite make out in a soft, adoring tone....

  
  
  
  


X33N blinks awake, eyelids still heavy. There's a warm weight against his side. He turns his head slightly, and is greeted by Jordan's face inches from his own, slack with sleep. His eyes twitch beneath his lids, betraying the fact that he's dreaming. The small amount of sunlight filtering through the large tinted windows of the bedroom illuminates his features, makes his hair nearly glow around the edges like a halo. X33N kisses the tip of his nose, and twists so he can extricate his arm from underneath Jordan so he can wrap it around the man instead.

His whole body is heavy, from the grogginess of having just woken as well as the vigor of their shared activities the night before. X33N smiles to himself. Jordan had been so good to him. He'd been so open and accepting of his needs. X33N sighs happily, burying his nose in Jordan's hair, breathing in his scent. He couldn't ask for a better— a better—

Well. Best not think about words like that. They're friends, and coworkers of sorts, but X33N knows that, despite their physical relationship, he can't have more. No matter what his fool heart may want.

Still, the traitorous organ beats faster when Jordan hums in his sleep, scooting closer and nestling his face in the crook of X33N's neck. X33N lays his hand on Jordan's hip, and brings the other up to brush some of Jordan's hair out of his face. He'll hold onto this for now, while Jordan will still let him so close. Someday they'll part ways, and it may even be painful, but X33N resolves not to waste what time he has with the beautiful man beside him.

He's too old to let himself daydream about love, but he finds himself doing so anyway as he dozes off once more.


End file.
